The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Friday, December 29, 2006

A Salute to Seattle, or the latest effort to Stay Clam

Great big gobs creepy grimey geoducks! Let it never be said that living in Seattle is boring. Thanks go to karena and the Snookum Award for reminding me of one of the many things I'll miss about this town.

Others will include going to Beacon Hill to snarf on Vietnamese sandwiches, Christmas downtown, playing in the fountains at Seattle Center, the Water Taxi, the view of Mt. Rainier, Almost Live, and living four blocks from Spacely's Sprockets, also known as the Needle.

Things I will not miss? Rude cabbies, pissy jittery judgemental people swilling coffee, that perfectly horrid downtown library, and Mayor Nickels. No place is perfect.

Above all, I will miss my friends, both old and new. The adventure has been great.

It's been a lot of fun living here, and I will miss Seattle and all its PC persnicketyness dearly. I'm glad I've had a chance to experience this unique corner of the country.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Well, now you guys have gone and done it.

I was going to carry on with my emcee duties over at the Gay Agenda, but apparently the number of comments has exceded my poor little computer's ability to access. At last check it was at 148. I can still READ the comments if I follow the Big Tent link from here ~~ but if I click to comment it FREEZES my entire computer.

So here's the thing: Unless Pursey et al want to continue the Pageant in another post, let's call competition closed and we will announce winners, losers, and Miss Congeniality.

As soon as all you STONERS pull your heads out of the bong and drink some coffee. Geez, this is a Pageant, not a freakin' Dead show.

Excuse me while I step backstage and see if our costume designer can do anything about all these seed holes in my cheap polyester tux. See what happens when I use Bobby's tailor?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


One Holiday Over,
One to go.

Then I'll be Dashing
Thru the Snow!

I've got a great friend in the building next door throwing a little New Year's soiree Sunday, the highlight of which will be tottering out to the corner to watch the Space Needle blow up at midnight. For me, it'll be the last time (sniff). Then the last manic days while I finish getting everything done. I'm trying not to freak, and have to keep telling myself to remain calm. So much to do!

A big thanks goes out to all my online friends. With the wackiness going on over at the Gay Agenda, I'm having
the therapeutic and very necessary comic relief I'm needing so badly. Good work, folks.

I better sign off for a while and get back to work. Cheers, all!

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title today is:
Bishop Lord Mel the Appropriate of Lower Hellswicke
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Naughty or Nice?


Just when public policy was starting to really put a damper on the holidays, we have the Donald and the O'Donnell to distract. And even better, a Big Tent Event over at the Gay Agenda!

Yes, it's the first annual No Talent Pageant Hosted by your own Meldonna. I've not only made it to the D-List, as your emcee for this ground-breaking event I'm ulgier than Rosie and prettier than Lea DeLaria. Apparently other than keeping the designated Cocktail Lesbians focused enough to actually function as judges, I'm also responsible for providing filler patter and fun facts.

Pageants and livestock shows have a long history in our fair land, and one of the traditions I've always loved is the Miss America Parade down the Boardwalk in Atlantic City. The time honored scream of "Show us your shoes" actually has its origin in the gay community, a fact I just learned today.

Lest I tarry too much, join me over at the Big Tent. And if you run into him, ask the Donald how he let the Miss America franchise end up in Vegas on CMT. I thought he owned that part of Jersey.

Miss USA indeed.

A view of the Big Picture

This morning I am reading that the U.S. is considering ramping up the naval presence in the Persian Gulf, under the veil of ‘deterring Iran’. This flies directly in the face of the Baker-Hamilton ISG and one of its key recommendations: Engage Iraq’s neighbors, especially Iran and Syria, in diplomatic efforts to begin the process of resolution. I’m not seeing Iran being diplomatically charmed at the point of a gun. Not going to win any hearts or minds in Syria, either.

The hallmark to the Bush II administration, starting with domestic programs pre-September 2001 and accelerating alarmingly since, has been to implement backwards, foolish policy, give it a name that means EXACTLY the opposite of what it is actually intended to accomplish, and then sell it to the public.

After six long years, the public is finally starting to wake up groggily and mumble “what the f…”, but unfortunately, the damage already done is catastrophic, to our country as well as the world at large. The ISG is the first tentative step in the right direction, but sadly, though not surprisingly, even its day-late, dollar-short proposals are quietly being swept aside.

Why? It’s hard not to simply attribute it to Shrubs’ well-known stubbornness, but while he does still exist in a bubble, it’s not a vacuum. U.S. policy has been ruthlessly molded around a warped philosophy, supported by various factions with their own warped needs.

Business wants the money. Neocons want global power solely in the hands of Washington. These folks have worked hand in hand to infiltrate, subvert, consolidate, and finally outright buy all of the major media outlets in the U.S., and quite a bit of media worldwide. The icing on this cake, of course, is the religious right, whose aims might be the most frightening of all.

When you stop and think about the fact that much of Western Christianity is focused on end-of-times philosophy, it’s not hard to see why many hard-line evangelicals resemble the very “extremists” they so vehemently denounce. I have always found the overwhelming support of Israel by these types to be profoundly troubling, not because I believe Israel has no right to exist, but because for too many of the far-right evangelicals, the only reason Israel must exist is to be destroyed according to prophesy, a proposed exercise in the worst sort of ultimate ethnic clensing. It boggles my mind that Tel Aviv plays along with these folks, but it keeps the munitions coming in. More short-sighted foolishness.

It does work rather neatly, though. The rich get richer, the power-hungry get their macho buzz, and the religious extremists anoint and bless it all, leaving Mom and Pop America, and their young 'uns, either conned by visions of Heaven or too busy trying to keep food on the table and the bills paid to have time to pay attention.

This all doesn’t change the fact that Cheney, Bush, and their backwards leadership are not the basic problem. It simply means that they ARE the means, and the muscle. By abusing the trust of the American people, and shamelessly using our military and our resources to further their own twisted visions, and incidentally their own pocketbooks, inadvertently or not they have put the world on a dangerous path.

Cheney and Bush themselves may not be intentionally pushing the world into Armageddon as their ultimate aim, although common sense says George has more than a nodding acquaintance with the concept; but their brutish push to impart their own visions of more wealth for the haves worldwide at the expense of everyone else, including their own fellow Americans, and the lies they have told to do so, rise far beyond “high crimes and misdemeanors”. They are not only guilty of treason against their own people, but against humankind itself.

What we already know as public record is enough to justify removal and imprisonment. The investigations are long past due, and shouldn’t require much time. Which is good; with Bush already making noises about sending more troops over, we don’t have much time.

Impeach Cheney. Impeach Bush. The world literally can’t wait. Neither can we.

Monday, December 18, 2006


In little more than a month, the 110th Congress of the United States will convene. Since the election, that went better for Democrats than most of my friends and myself had dared hope for, there has been the fairly normal period of lull before the new blood comes in. But will the change in leadership make a difference?

Anyone who been even halfway paying attention to the White House already knows it doesn’t mean squat to the Decider. Oh, he’s changed his public rhetoric somewhat; his beloved mantra “stay the course” has become passé, ney, even verboten. In fact, I’ve heard him several times in the past month claim that it has never been his policy. This despite the literally hundreds of times you’ve heard the words come from his lips since about the time his got all gussied up in his flight suit for that dog-and-pony show on the Abe Lincoln. How fucking stupid does he think we are?

Let’s be clear at this point: Bush has ABSOLUTELY no intention whatsoever of changing operating policy in Iraq. Period. All that sound and fury surrounding the Iraq Study Group signifies nada. It’s simply more spin intended to give the impression that something constructive is going on at the White House.

Meanwhile, back at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue, after offering the sop of a pittance raise in the minimum wage, Democratic leaders have fallen over themselves declaring impeachment “off the table”, the single most stupid bit of public hoo-ha since the prosecution declared that they wouldn’t seek the death penalty against O.J. Simpson. That certainly worked out well, didn’t it?

Time Magazine has declared its “Person of the Year” for 2006 to be you. And specifically, you folks who blog, who join grassroots groups, who sign petitions. You folks with your camera phones keeping cops, who for decades have been on an ass-whoopin’ spree with impunity, on their toes for a change, at least in public. You folks who went to the polls in droves demanding a new direction for the country, and an end to our involvement in Iraq. You.

Well, it’s high time we, you and me, commenced some “shock and awe” of our own. We have to use every tool at our disposal to shake, rattle, and roll the Capitol. Scream from the street corners, talk about it to strangers in bars, friends at church, and any-bloody-body else you can pidgeonhole. Be obnoxious and relentless. And develop a sense of fun while you do it. Don't ever forget we are right, and the right is wrong.

The Iraq Quagmire isn’t located in Mesopotamia. The mess is in Washington, and if we let the new blood slide into the bad habits of the old rascals, all we’re going to get for all the hard work we’ve done so far is more money-friendly bullshit, and more boxes covered in flags shipped home. Honor our troops and end the lie.

Impeach Cheney. Impeach Bush. Then remove both from office. It is the only way the war in Iraq ends. Then, and only then, move on to clean up the mess of filthy lucre that is K Street, so we can finally rid ourselves of government of, by, and for the corporations. It’s as obvious as the ass on My Pet Goat.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Meme Schmeme Thingie

I have been tagged. No, not by the Game and Fish Commission, by Ms. Pursey. For, as she puts it, a "book meme thingie". Whatever the hell that is...I think we have a nodding acquaintance with the concept; the jury is still out, however.

At any rate, here is how it works. Go to the book nearest you. Pick up the book and turn to page 123. Count the first five sentences. Post the next three sentences on your blog. Write the name of the author and the title of the book. Tag three people. Here are the sentences from my book:

"He had sex with her?"
"And how did she feel about this," Jesse said.

My book is Stone Cold, by Robert B. Parker.

Now let's see. Who do I tag? Got it.

I tag Enigma, spadoman, and az goddess.

Merry ho-ho's, y'all.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Gwen Stefani has lost her damn mind

You know, I actually liked the duo with Eve; the four-wheelers were fun. I even hung in with the Grambling-halftime-style Hollaback. But I've seen our girl on SNL and Letterman this week, and this Heidi-lost-her-goat shit has got to go; it is Hellabad. Stefani is an amazingly talented performer with a wonderful singing voice ~~ it'd be so nice to hear it again.

Note to Gwen: Oktoberfest called. They want their yodel back.

Whew! I just had to get that out of my system. And yes, I feel better now.

I'll be back soon to comment on more pertinent events; I've had to take a few Mental Health Days from the wonderful circus of Public Affairs this week. Not to mention the Holiday Hoopla. Small wonder my sinuses decided to go on strike.

Meanwhile, I must head back over to the Big Tent at the GA. There is one HELL of a party going on y'all. Now where is that Elvis decanter of Wild Turkey I came back here to pick up? Oh, there it is behind Hello Kitty.



Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Whiter Shade of Pale

The Bush-Blair press conference this morning was quite entertaining; what I got to see of it, anyway. All the broadcast networks cut away from the Q & A session about three questions in, and not having cable, I must admit I was highly pissed. Cut off cold, and when I was having such a good time. It was so refreshing to see Shrub have to answer some questions from the British press for a change, instead of the softballs he's accustomed to having lobbed gently in his direction by our media. I do enjoy someone lighting that short fuse of his in public.

And what was up with Tony? I've never seen him stutter and stammer so much! Does spending a couple of hours with Bush actually rob a person of their normal abilities to speak aloud? Not to mention the unnatural pallor on the both of them. I've seen eighty-year-old drunks who've pulled an all-nighter look less shaky and much fresher than either of these clowns did this morning; what happened to make-up?

As for the scripted lines, it's obvious that the only thing about Bush's plans that have changed is his terminology. He still has absolutely no intention of pulling any troops out any time soon, and isn't even very careful to cover up the fact he's dragging his feet. Predictably, Tony the Poodle just echoes his master and piddles on the floor.

It would be interesting to find out what those dead families Bush has talked to told him.

Of course, Shrub isn't the only member of his family to sound or look a little wack in public this week. Pappy and Jebbie held a little blubber-fest in front of Florida lawmakers on Monday. Somehow H.W. has gotten it into his head that his little boys have been unfairly picked upon for years now. I'm sure there's a dad somewhere in Iraq who's lost not only a child or two in Gulf War I, but some grandkids, too, in the sequel. But I'm supposed to commiserate with the old man and how hard his boys have been done. Maybe Pappy should just consider any rough times and words his kids have endured in their extremely blessed political lives collateral damage, take his Paxil, and get a freaking grip.

Lord, and I was originally planning to tear that hypocrite Mary Cheney a new one in this post. Many others have already held forth on this the subject, so I'll keep it brief. Considering that I heard she's due in April, I hope they bought a new baster before Lynne popped that Butterball in the oven this year.

Monday, December 04, 2006

I am the Eggman

They are the Eggman
The Walrus is History!!!

Yes, Children, gather 'round. Word has it that bully Bolton, the antithesis of diplomacy that Bush foisted as U.S. Ambassador upon the United Nations, is the latest bloated neocon corpse floating in the water. Like Rummy, he's still technically on staff until January, but at least this is one smelly confirmation hearing we won't have to waste time with. Lord knows Shrub is going to nominate Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, or if he's smart, somebody Daddy recommends to represent us. But before Bush has time to network with his asshole buddies and come up with another horrible appointment for this post, let's at least relish the demise of this particular thug.

I've been sitting on a cornflake waiting for this bus to come for a long time. Goo goo ka fucking chube.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

(knock knock knock) Housekeeping...

I wanted to pass on some personal news; I will be relocating to the Deep South. The plan is sometime quite soon after the new year, barring any unexpected complications. This means, of course, I've be leaving the ultra-liberal urban Puget Sound area in time to be in Arkansas for the installation of our new Congress. Being a liberal, I see a practical side to this. Up here, I'm merely a small voice in a large choir. In central Arkansas, I'll be a progressive voice unable to be ignored. Which means when I get there, that should make eight of us liberals in all. And yes. I know the other seven.

Actually, Little Rock is not nearly as backwards as people assume -- and conversely, Seattle is not as forwards. Oddly enough, the Genus Busibody tends to spoil both places. Leads me to believe the human condition is similar everywhere. And disturbingly enough, portions of South King County remind me of the county line between Pulaski and Saline. Did distant relatives of folks in Shannon Hills migrate west and build Kent? Customs in dress suggest just that.

Snarkiness aside, I'm headed back home for many reasons; it's cheaper to live in Arkansas, I want to be nearer my aging, and my younger kinfolks, and dog gone it, I am a touch homesick. Besides, I can't get the Razorback game on the radio in Seattle, and there ought to be a law.

I'll have plenty to say throughout the holidays, but I'll put up a notice when I go 'radio silence' to travel back. I am strongly considering continuing the blog experience in a format other than blogspot. Is it just me, or is blogger just getting pushy about "updating to beta"? Whatever. I use this ghetto form because it's simple; unfortunately, technology has a way of becoming obsolete so quickly. You know, when I was a kid, we had to WALK to the video store.

In the spirit of the season, eat food that's bad for you, have that extra cocktail, and skip the mall. Remember to give cash ~~ one size fits all. Call your aunt, and smile at the kids, too. Christmas isn't about retail sales, it's about love.

And chocolate. Lots of chocolate.