The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Gwen Stefani has lost her damn mind

You know, I actually liked the duo with Eve; the four-wheelers were fun. I even hung in with the Grambling-halftime-style Hollaback. But I've seen our girl on SNL and Letterman this week, and this Heidi-lost-her-goat shit has got to go; it is Hellabad. Stefani is an amazingly talented performer with a wonderful singing voice ~~ it'd be so nice to hear it again.

Note to Gwen: Oktoberfest called. They want their yodel back.

Whew! I just had to get that out of my system. And yes, I feel better now.

I'll be back soon to comment on more pertinent events; I've had to take a few Mental Health Days from the wonderful circus of Public Affairs this week. Not to mention the Holiday Hoopla. Small wonder my sinuses decided to go on strike.

Meanwhile, I must head back over to the Big Tent at the GA. There is one HELL of a party going on y'all. Now where is that Elvis decanter of Wild Turkey I came back here to pick up? Oh, there it is behind Hello Kitty.




Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

Perhaps she hasn't been able to sing so much lately due to the extreme facial constriction caused by pulling her hair so tightly back like that. I've worn my hair that way before ... about the only thing positive I can say about it is, if you really torque it back hard, it's kind of like a temporary face lift, which is one thing Gwen does not need yet. Plus it makes her look mean, don't you think? ~~ D.K.

12:48 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

I really do love Gwen; which is probably why my panties are in such a knot. Maybe it is the hair. And what's with the little stable of mini-geishas she keeps around these days? Somehow I'm totally missing something here.

Oh, well. Prince lost his damn mind way back in the eighties and he's singing at the Super Bowl this year. Go figure. Bet he's not wearing those butt-cheek gold lame pants for THAT show.

2:53 AM  
Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

mel, if there was some ASSurance that Prince would don those hooter-pants that day, even *I* would put down my books & watch the SuperBowl. Super Sunday has become my annual day of retreat from all TV. I never know who's playing or even who won. Sometimes I get called out for a half-time performance, but am usually disappointed (unless there are any teriyaki won-tons left). However, I would never rain (purple or other) on anyone else's joy, so will look forward to your particular play-by-play. ~~ D.K.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Bring that Decanter over and we can sell it on eBay to pay for cleaning up this mess. I bet that freaking thing is worth a fortune.

I admit, I know nothing of this Gwen Stefani person. I do know I do not like yodeling so if she is a yodeler, to heck with her.

Anyway, I am on a big Glen Campbell kick this week. Glen Campbell and John Connely is all I have been listening too. I missed out on this Gwen person's music.

DK Raed,
If I torqued my hair back that tight my eyes would buldge and it would draw attention to this wobbly action my chin has developed over the years. Yikes!!!

4:11 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

I gotta try to get there, Pursey...had to come by an old friend's house and make his computer work...and Puget Sound is flooding and blowing again. Got stuck behind street flooding for an hour on the way over (normal commute? 10 minutes).

They say we will have winds tonight in Seattle from 50-80mph. I already got cought in a monsoon squall. It ain't RIGHT!

Oh, Stefani used to be the lead singer of No Doubt. She whelped recently, so it may be post partum psycho.

BTW, did you know Glen Campbell is from Arkansas? Benton, just
SW of Little Rock. When I get back home I will look for momentos...

Deke, I fear the Stupid Bowl will be meaningless to me this year, too. We'll see how the Seahawks do next year.

12:49 AM  
Blogger spadoman said...

So, this famous reconstructive surgeon came up with this great invention. It looked like a normal "bun" at the top rear of a womans hair do. When you turned it, it pulled the hair straight back and with doing that, out came all the wrinkles on the face, neck and chin.

Women everywhere were having the procedure done in hopes of prolonging age lines, wrinkles and were said to look 20 years younger forever.

One of the first women who had this procedure done was having a bit of trouble after some time. She made an appointment with the surgeon that did the procedure. Her complaint was these bags under her eyes that would not go away no matter how much she twisted her bun.

The surgeon took a look and after a throrough exam told her that she simply had used the method to its limit and that they weren't bags under her eyes, but rather, they were her tits.

The woman then breathed a big sigh of releif as she then stroked her chin and said, "Well then, that explains the go-tee"

4:20 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

I too am not too familiar with the singer in question. Is she the one that sang the song about the president?

No one should yodel and there must be some law against it.

Take a little time out to have a peaceful weekend :)

7:01 AM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...


That weather sounds dreadful. Yikes. One hour commute for a ten minute drive? I haven't seen anything on the news about that. However, yesterday I was talking to my colorist and my former hair cutter just moved there. She and I agreed that Washington and Oregon are kind of "murdery." We were discussing Ann Rule and other true crime books. It must be the weather but my colorist thought it had to do with volcanoes and fires. What do we know?

Yes, I just bought Glen's greatest hits and the liner notes say he is one of 12 children whose father was a sharecropper in "Billstown" Arkansas.
What town are you moving too?

9:15 AM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...


I just saw the news on Keith Oblermann about the horrendous situation in
Seattle. 1.5 million without utilities. My heart and prayers are with you and your friends. Best of everything, my dear. If you get electricity and come home safe from your venture to Puget Sound please let us know that you are okay and let us know if you need anything. This is too much and quite frightening, indeed.

Big hugs and lots of prayers.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

Pursey, look at tonight's featured story "A Mighty Wind" for updates & images of what mel's area is getting walloped with. Seattle Post-Intelligencer couldn't even put out a newspaper, first time since 1936. Mel, please stay indoors til it's safe. We're all worried about you up there. ~~ D.K.

11:18 PM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

MEL..friday night...wholy cow such crappy horrible weather your way- such a storm....worried about you...the cafe lit candles for you tonight....prayers and light to you ....

On the other note...Gwen is wearing her hair like that - must be some sort of Postpartum treatment ? not sure but am sure that a bun like that would or could cause some sort of brain damage...

Went over to the GA and Lola and Pursey sure do have great parties, drinks and good folk...sadly I now have Wichata Lineman stuck in my damn head.....My EX used to have Glen Campbell shirts- yup- you know what I mean- and I would throw them out and they kept reappearing like some kind of Twight Xone episode...soooo creepy...

Spado -you just about killed me---bags under her eyes....too damn funny...

1:30 AM  
Blogger dada said...

Spadoman: I remember a similar joke from some years ago only it involved an overweight man who'd lost many lbs and was trying to hide all the flabby skin that remained. But as memory serves me, I think your version is better.

Mel, while the rest of us commenting here are staring at bright computer monitors, it looks like yours may well be in the dark at the moment. Sure hope you're safe and staying warm.

So are these the days everyone subsists on what they can manage to eat from their freezers before it spoils? Barbequing outside in the cold?

5:43 AM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Meldonna, We're all pulling for you here. I hope you get your power back soon, you and all the other folks that have suffered through this storm.

5:01 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

ALL: I'm fine, and thanks for all your concern. I fear you all have worried more than you needed to! We wandered back to my house on Friday (my friend's house is not too far away), watched a movie (fortunately no black out here) and then I went down for a LOONG winter's nap...with packing, the weird weather, and whatnot, I had a serious need for a long mental nap. The storm was not as severe on us in the downtown area; as usual, the folks out in the 'burbs on the country got the worst of it. But if the people who work in town can't get to town, business does come to a stop.

Pursey, I'm headed to Little Rock -- about thirty miles from Glen's birthplace of Benton in central Arkansas.

Oh, yes...the Pacific Northwest, home of the serial killer. Actually, other than an occasional one of those, this area is pretty non-violent. I have noticed that last weekend we had a spate of gun-murders (three), enough to make one stand up and take notice. The oddity was they weren't murder-suicides. We are also the capitol of suicide in the US...maybe it's the weather?

All in all, I am looking forward to getting back to the climes I grew up with, where things make a bit more sense to, sticky summers notwithstanding.

It got COLD after the storm! I'm fixing to crawl back under the warm blankets with my book, after I check back in over at GA. BURR!!!

1:10 AM  
Blogger Pablo said...

She was great when she was singing reggae and ska!

8:15 PM  

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