The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Just in time for the Holidays!

It is so hard not to gloat.

Screw it; we deserve to celebrate. As Deke would say, "in de Howwwse!"

AND the Senate. And Rummy, he's outta there. Now if we could only get the same deal on Unca Ebenezer Sneer, and even Shrub himself, the Grinch Who Stole My Country.

Did you guys see the Monkeyboy's midday press conference? Fucker starts an address to the nation with "Why all the glum faces?" That ill-advised attempt at humor was received with deafening silence from the assembled press corps; I swear I could almost hear crickets chirping.

Then he launches into his obligatory public eating of the crow, delivered in a repetitive, petulant singsong that got very tiresome by about the third stanza. Not that anybody's ever accused Shrub of dignity in stress, but this was a new pinnacle.

It didn't get much better in the question and answer portion. And I quote: "Somehow it seeped in their [the American people's] conscious that my attitude was just simply 'stay the course.'" I can't imagine why we'd be so foolish as to think that. Bush himself only used the phrase several hundred times in public.

The other highlight to the conference, other than the surprise announcement of Rumsfeld's impending departure, was watching the President skewer the man largely responsible for putting his butt in office in the first place, that slimeball poofter Karl Rove. As you can probably tell, Mr. Rove is not one of my favorite people. But watching this President, who values loyalty above anything in his administration, publicly embarrass the man almost made me feel sorry for Karl.


Let's hope we can get our new Congress back on course in January; I'm already composing letters in my head to Speaker Pelosi, Senator Conyers, and others. It is time for change, investigation, and justice. We can't let the Democrats slide back into politics as usual.

In the meantime, savor the win. As stressed as we've all been waiting for this election, we deserve it. This is a good time to be a progressive. And this is a real Morning in America.


Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

Oh mel, we are in sync! I don't know why, but I've been thinking all day of weird political cocktails, and now I see your universal mind has already done the deed!

Here's the few I was working on: (*warning, very crude, possibly unfunny questionable content, deletion may be required*) ...

LIQUID ASPHALT: 1/2 Santorum, 1/2 Geo Allen, floating in tarry canine turds.

HAIRBALL: Mix Katherine Harris, Horsesaddle Oil & God, sprinkle liberally with insanity.

A PIECE OF ASS: 1 Shot Southern Comfort, 1 Shot Jeff Gannon & large bucket of ice cubes. The BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY upgrade includes a press pass keepsake.

LONG ISLAND ICE TEA: Secret Ingredients, Shaken, Filtered thru Blue Dress, stirred & served by a senator from new york.

*** ps, yes I caught Bush's Press Conf today ... pure Gallow's Humor. You captured it! ~~ D.K.

12:02 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

STOP!!! Omigawd, you got me laughing out LOUD. Especially the Hairball. You have a deft hand at satire, and the absurd.

And you should know, I shamelessly stole my drink recipe from; just wish I knew where he got it from...

Hey, here's one for ya. Laura (Licensed Driver) Bush's favorite~~

BOOKWORM CRANKDOWN: Four parts tequilla, one part triple sec, one part lime juice. Serve frozen in a glass frosted w/powdered Xanax, and keep 'em coming.

Have you ever looked closely at her eyes? Lady is tweaking, bigtime.

We don't want to leave out Unca Dict (as in 'dictator')~~

SHOTGUN BOILERMAKER: Shot of Everclear dropped in a pint of LoneStar, serve immediatly before farmed quail are released. Pull!

Lest we forget Al (Quaint) Gonzales~~

COCONUT SHREDDER: Two parts white rum, dash of mescal, one part Pina Colada mix, one dose Ex-Lax, over ice. Garnish with worm and use copy of the Constitution as coaster, and to wipe ass with.

Okay, I'll get the idea. ~snicker~

1:50 AM  
Anonymous D.K.Raed said...

Glad you liked my cocktails, I was afraid I'd gone waay overboard. Poor Laura ... yeah like i'm gonna feel sorry for a librarian who married a man who can't/won't read. also why does everyone keep calling her a librarian? Didn't she only hold that position for maybe a couple yrs back in the early-70's? Sheesh, by that logic, I should be referring to myself as Ms. Hollywood & Vine from the 6-mos I lived on Kingsley Ave circa 1970.

Constitutional coaster or toilet paper ... people need something to read in both areas ... great idea!

Oh, I think macaca's about to concede ... sweeeet!!! ~~ D.K.

12:12 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

It's official: George "Deer Head" Allen has conceded.

Stick a fork in this election -- it's DONE.

1:04 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

dance the dance of happiness!!! yes sir-eeee

and for the past few years...since the last presidental election - i stopped listening to baby bush speak...for everytime i did i had a urge to throw

2:34 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Hey, az! Doing the Happy Dance myself...on the freaking ceiling! We have waited a long time for this.

A bonus I hadn't even thought of yet? John "WalrusChops" Bolton -- he's OUTTA THERE, too. No way this bully gets confirmed, which means his embarassing but thankfully short tenure at the UN ends soon. To use one of Shrub's pet terms, I think that's FABULOUS.

I'm off to check out who I should be writing letters to; it's not too early to start. Besides, looking up the new heads of House committees will prove to be a delightful read.

6:20 PM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

OMG...laughed my ass off....too funny- I love these drinks- I agree the Hariball is killer.....but Mel- the Bookworm Crankdown was hysterical.....oh my the A Piece of Ass....

okay I don't really drink so you have to come up with the ingredients:
Macaca Martini:

Frosted Foley:

and of course a Holy-Ass-Haggard:

11:10 PM  

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