The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Hear ye, hear ye!

For ev'ryone that a limerick you have sent
Rest assured your valuable time was well spent
I know it's sure so hard
Trying to be a new bard
But, bless you all, when asked to go there, you went!

So here we go with our Top Five Contenders:

While pondering news off the wire
I found a great deal of desire
To bitch slap his face
And spray him with mace
He’s nothing except a great big liar

There was a young girl name of 'Gert'
Who came back from Iraq mort-ly hurt
As he sank by her side
George Bush rued, then he cried
"Shoulda done what I did - DESERT!"


Pappy Bush spent a night in Newglubber
With a wild tart named Barbara, a clubber
Today it's easy to see
How better off we'd all be
If that night he'd just worn him a rubber!


Election 2000: 'twas a sunny day
We went to the polls in the usual way
But then the Supremes
Cancelled our dreams
Saying next time don't vote, just pray!

Bush reading Camus has me benched
The lie has a palpable stench
If I'd heard it of Kerry
I'd not question nor tarry
Save for " the original French?"

Everybody, please chime in on your favorite, call your friends, wake the kids, et cetera, and let me know which of these worthies gets the nod for Best Limerick! Thanks again to all participants, and I promise not to make anyone have to work again this hard ever.

Until next year.



Blogger spadoman said...

I thought about voting but wavered

My own stuff would surely be favored

I'll let others decide

I'll not stem the tide

So the outcome can really be savored

5:05 AM  
Blogger dada said...

Spadoman: Just noticed your preceding comment. Good one!

Mel: Thanks for posting these. It was fun to reread a sampling of the submissions from the past month or two of such delightful creativity.

If possible, however, I have a favor to ask: that I be able to respectfully withdraw from the competition. That's because I enjoyed this whole exercise so much and just looking at the fruits of our labors we reaped is reward enough.

The thing that unsettles me about competitions is there has to be losers and everyone who played this game is a winner! That includes our gracious creator of this idea, for without a competition, we could include among the works submitted herein those of the originator of this very pleasant, Mel, who gave us some most entertaining submissions yourself!

So "Hat's off to Mel and all the others who played the game--winner's all!"

5:52 AM  
Blogger spadoman said...

Dada.... you are absolutely right. Mel and all of us are the big winner. I don't believe for a minute, though, that any of the "participants" thought it a competition in the sense that there would be a distinct winner or loser. I knew from the start it was a great way to belong and read the thoughts and musings of new friends.

Peace be with you, Thanks for your humility. Many pats on the back and hugs to you all and to Mel.

7:59 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Man, you guys rock. I'm going to have to give all this some thought, and I do already have some ideas cooking, but I'll have the denouement posted hopefully by Monday (All Hallow's Eve Eve), God and Blogger willing.

And now that the pressure's off, I found myself rattling off that last limerick without even having to hardly think about it! Isn't that the way of things? At any rate, I betcha Nipsey's out there somewhere, proud as hell...

If your friends are your armor against the world, you guys make me feel like Shining Freakin' Lancelot. I'm off, to face down the Vicious Chicken of Bristol. I might possibly even say !nnnnNee!

8:54 AM  
Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

so, mel, I took your advice & read these to my husband without saying who wrote what. His response to each was "THAT's the best one!" (smart man, he).

It was fun & challenging & I just love reading 'em aloud to really hear the cadence rolling along. I have to imagine the actual writer's voices, though ... so, in my head only: Spadoman's voice is Steve Buscemi, Dada is John Goodman, I'll be Minnie Mouse & Mel is Tallulah, of course, dahlin'.

But fair's fair. Now you gotta put up some of your favorites of the ones YOU wrote, mel! ~~ D.K.

1:23 PM  
Blogger spadoman said...

Sorry d.k. I worked with Steve on the movie set of Fargo. I don't sound a bit like him, (or, he doesn't sound like me because I was here first, I'm older)

When I sing, I sound like Jim Morrison, or so I've been told. Ask Mel about my speaking voice, she's talked to me.

Mel.. Yes, post some of your limericks. All are fair game and all are good. No losers for sure.

5:03 AM  
Anonymous D.K. Raed said...

Spadoman, just goes to show me not to listen to the voices in my head! I thought of Buscemi cuz of his fast way of talking & his just-under-the-surface disbelief. Hope you weren't the double that was fed into that wood chipping machine.

Morrison! Now there's a guy that knew his way to the next whiskey bar, huh. I often wonder what he & others from that time now gone would write about today. Lots of similarities.

ps, in my head my voice isn't quite as squeeky as minnie mouse either. ~~ D.K.

1:57 PM  
Blogger spadoman said...

Sorry Mel, I don't mean to use your great blog comment area as a personal dialogue, but I must tell d.k. that I wasn't Steve's double, I did special effects. I was on the crew that made the chipper and fed the meat renderings into it for the ground up human being effect. Small world!

Yes, I would love to hear Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin and others expound on todays events as well.

Mel, Post your limericks!

8:24 PM  

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