The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Nipsey Russell Memorial Front Porch Limerick Contest!

With the Dog Days of Summer upon us, it's kind of hard not to get a touch of the blues. So I want all you thinkers, winkers, and general ne'r-do-wells to tap into your sense of humor. Feel free to use as much profanity, innuendo, and low comedy as suits your needs. We are talking LIMERICKS here!

Winner will be determined by the obvious -- make us all laugh out loud.

Below are examples -- I apologize for the lameness thereof.

There is a ranch out in Texas
Whose owner surely does vex us
Surly and plain old hating
Even when he's out vacating
That he ain't on trial yet just wrecks us

Many churches have a big steeple
A voting booth should show how we pull
With elections coming yet
None of us should forget
That George Bush don't like black people

As I'm running the contest, my limericks are of course inelligible...but I'm planning on coming up with a few more, just for shits and grins. Have fun!


Blogger spadoman said...

Ok, What's the prize? If it's some home made tamales or some other southwestern delectible that I know you make very well, then here goes:

There once was a man from Nantucket

He drank too much beer from a bucket

If he’d shy away

and stop driving that day

We could pack up George with his trumpet

Or this one:

The shock and awe made him brag

The people still fight in Bagdhad

He’s ruined our great land

With his head in the sand

Let them carry him out in a bag

That's just for starters. I'll work on this a little. I might even make something up and not use the truth next time.

1:41 AM  
Blogger dada said...

mel: Thanks for diverting our attentions towards something a little more pleasant.

In your first example, do you happen to know who that guy is? I'd like to buy him a beer!

I have one limerick--it's not mine, hence, it's not an entry herein--that's been emblazoned on my brain since reading John Steinbeck's "East of Eden" thirty years ago. It goes:

"There was a young man from Jolon
got seeeck of leeving alone
He 'juan' to King City
to got something pretty
puta chingada cabron!"

I always kinda liked that even if I don't know what it means and can't spell it or forget it. It's seared in the grey matter.

But let me go think on this. Be back later.

4:58 AM  
Blogger dada said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:34 AM  
Blogger dada said...

Sorry about the deletion. If only I'd edit these before uploading 'em. (sigh)

Pappy Bush spent a night in Newglubber

with a wild tart named barbara, a clubber

today it's easy to see

how better off we'd all be

if that night he'd just worn him a rubber!

5:41 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Early results give Dada an edge for that last!

As for the limerick from E. of Eden...if my rusty spanish serves, you might not want to choose to rattle off that last line in mixed company. Puta is a slut, cabron is goat (or a fairly offensive term similar to MF) and chingada is a form of the f-word itself. So put it all together? The fucker fucked a slut. Ouch!

Spadoman, I'm thinking a virtual blue ribbon and bragging rights for the winner. Mostly because I can't figure out how to post a fresh tortilla...

Good work, guys!

6:09 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

And just for fun:

Have you ever tried talking to a right-wing twink?
Sometimes it's so hard to know what to think!
You make a valid point
They get bent out of joint
And grab another pitcher of Kool Aid to drink.

6:13 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Here's a couple from D.K., forwarded by e4e ~~ I got to figure out how to let her blog here annoymous...

Election 2000: 'twas a sunny day.
We went to the polls in the usual way.
But then The Supremes
Cancelled our dreams,
Saying next time don't vote, just pray!

So, bid farwell to the U S of A,
As democracy, Bush screws every day.
He screams (ain't it scary),
"Let the corpses rot where they lay!"

Excellent! One pithy, the other quite dark humor.

I can see we are going to need catagories...

Thanks, D.K..

10:58 PM  
Blogger dada said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:46 AM  
Blogger dada said...

Okay, another thought for the day:

A cowboy cardshark from Crawford

Told Saddam of Iraq "Let's draw for't!"

When they went for their guns

Saddam found he had none

Now the kid's in contempt of a Swiss law court

(ugh, no many how many times I refine this, it still doesn't quite *click*....sorry)

2:10 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

I know what you mean! It's not as easy to write a limerick as it sounds.

Let me nose around online; maybe I can find some examples for inspiration.

8:12 PM  
Blogger dada said...

mel: Did I thank you for translating John Steinbeck's limmerick more precisely for me? No? I didn't think so. "Thank you!"

Okay, whilst out walking between rainstorms this morning, there came the following:

There was a young girl name of 'Gert'

Who came back from Iraq mort-ly hurt

As he sank by her side

George Bush rued, then he cried

"Shoulda done what I did - DESERT!"

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem, am I in the right place? OK, here goes:

I'm surfing Baja Canada now, oh dear!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear:
Mel's taking anonymouses !
(and maybe hippopotamuses)
Either way, I can sashay my rear!

alright, not a pretty picture, i admit. and were there any rules against borrowing (line #2 from Night Before Xmas, line #4 from Sesame Street)???

aahahaha, dada HAS to get best new word award: "Newglubber" !!!


5:02 PM  
Blogger dada said...

d.k. Oh my...such imagery. Anyway, welcome to Baja Canada! That Mel's alright, huh?

8:35 AM  

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