The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Jesus jumped up Christ Holidays to you!

Bush isn't even enough Christian to satisfy these days, say the holy rollers. Sent out cards with a Bible verse in 'em, but still ain't good enough.

Is it just me, or is it...oh, I don't know, an overabundance of folks just pickin' a fight? Spoilin' fer a fight?

I'm into Buddha Christmas. Jesus talked about it (see Matthew 23). And actually, Jesus talked about a lot of stuff that really seems Buddhist. What is the sound of one hand that forgot the PIN?

And how does a multi-national corporate entity pass through the eye of a needle?

My mom, as bedrock Xian as they come, figured out many years ago her tithe, her responsibility to turn over a tenth to do the work, was being double-timed by taxation. Myself, I figured out I don't need the threat of hell to know right from wrong. Then again, I think I was raised right.

Bush wants old tyme religion? Then we need to take him up on #3, Taking the Name of the Lord in Vain (Exodus 20, v. 7). Describes his entire political career. The penalty for breaking the Law of Moses? I don't want to throw the first rock, but...

Okay, yeah, I do.

I'd be happier participating in that public stoning than I am for taxpaying the electric bill when the fuckers play ACDC with some accused enemy combatant. Ain't this some shit?

And Cuzzin Bill gets impeached for getting a blowjob, and our current soul-impaired White House Occupant (or is he Resident?) has never met a rich dick he can't suck.

Not even Monica swallowed.

My children, my friends: Do yourself a favor, and go get yourself some music...this year, I'm starting with Houses of the Holy. No deep message here; just enjoying some Zep from when I was a kid. Call your mom, go buy a homeless chick a sandwich and sit down and eat with her. If you gotta do gifts, buy your rich relatives underdrawers, and give the poor ones cash dollar bills (cash -- one size fits all). And remember, credit companies can't wait to own yo ass...bankruptcy is now the gift that keeps on giving to them.

And when you have to deal with the things our leaders do?

Go ahead and read Matthew 23 (it's fun), then do that WWJD? thing. Just trying to work in the field chosen by the prez.

What would Jesus do?

I suspect Jesus would cry.

2 Comments:

Blogger enigma4ever said...

Ohmygod you had me roaring, too funny. I needed a good laugh- and you certainly gave it to me...Holy cow.
And about the prez, is he a resident- nope he is a Squatter...he has squatted there too long. Now about The WH Christmas Card- my son walked in the room and it was on the screen,. and he was far away from the screen" Ohnygod Allie- they put dog turds on the Christmas card- look in the corner- in the snow down from the tree" ...And sure enough I turned around and from across the room- that is Exactly what it looks like from afar....two little turd piles in the snow. Merry Friggin Christmas

1:21 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

I got something simple to say. George W. Bush is a nothing. Never been good at anything but making friends with rich bullies, and surrounding himself with the political kin thereof. Never held a real job. Never had one given to him (always at a high level) that he hasn't screwed the pooch. How incompetentant do you have to be to fail to make money in oil in Texas when your Dad is President?

He is the only President of the country in history who is owned by foreign interests...it just stumps me that people think we have to put up with him for three more years.

For all the compassion he's shown to the Katrina victims, when he is finally convicted of treason to America (a capital offense, mind you), I only ask that he serve his life sentence in Louisana's Angola State Prison.

In general population.

Let him smirk then.

2:29 AM  

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