The American Renaissance

Baja Canada del Sur: Comedy and Comment in the Age of Occupation

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Location: Little Rock, Arkansas

found done in needlepoint on Mel's Front Porch: I Pledge Alligence to the Constitution of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it guarantees, One Nation, Undeniable, with Liberty, Truth, and Justice for All.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

The NPMFPLC wants YOU write a limerick! I've been coming up with some, and it isn't as easy as it sounds. But then again, some of the best limericks have fairly tortured rhymes and whatnot, so don't be discouraged.

There is without a doubt plenty of fodder these days for comedy, political or otherwise. Especially on the cusp of Election Season. Bush claiming he's not making political speeches this week in itself is ripe -- exactly what business does Chucklenuts imagine he's in, anyway?

Then there's the Secretary of Delusion, Rumsfeld. What a putz. Having him accuse us of moral and intellectual confusion is somewhat like having Don Ho accuse me of being Hawaiian. Considering how Rummy likes the word fascist, I think he must have wrote that speech looking in the mirror.

Speaking of fascism, if you want to arm yourself with some actual factual information, Thom Hartmann (see comments for link) recently wrote an excellent essay on the subject -- the point of which is that the Islamist terrorists are not fascists; they are profoundly theocratic. Fascism can be defined as "a system of government that exercises a dictatorship of the extreme right, typically through the merging of state and business leadership, together with belligerent nationalism" (American Heritage Dictionary, circa 1983). So much for intellectual confusion.

I've composed yet another lame little limerick -- I think I must have had Labor Day and whistleblowers on the brain. So in honor of all the folks who brought us OSHA, the weekend, and overtime pay; and everyone still working for the little guy by speaking up to the Man, I humbly offer the following:

For Honesty, it's sure tough now being battlers
But I am proud to be one of the tattlers
And like Ms. Ivins sez
Rummy, Dick, and the Prez
Are meaner'n a skilletfull of rattlers


Blogger spadoman said...

Right On Mel.......People forget the Union is the reason for the 40 hour work week and other rights, like child labor laws. Even though in some respects, the Unions have been struggling and even have been accused and proven to be crooks themselves, without them the workplace would be totalitarian at best. Even now, minimum wages are not living wages. Laws have been changed to allow workers to work without overtime and working conditions are unsafe in many cases. People need the jobs to stay ahead of rising rental and housing costs and the rip-off at the gas pump.

I will honor the workers Monday September 4, 2006, Labor Day. I'll stay home and not go shopping.

In the meantime, here are a few of those limericks:

While pondering news off the wire
I found a great deal of desire
To bitch slap his face
And spray him with mace
He’s nothing except a big liar

The airplanes hit with a bang
This prompted George with a plan
To sell out the people
Use the church and its steeple
To get rich in Iraq and Iran

This fucker’s a pain in the ass
I can’t stand his stance, it’s so crass
But November will come
We’ll vote out the bum
And lower the high price of gas

We cry and we fret over war
Our soldiers die by the score
He don’t give a shit
He indulges a bit
He’s rotton right down to the core

My money is used for the taxes
To fight evil ways of the axis
What good does it do
When he’s evil too
His mind has too many lapses

And Finally:

Labor is done day by day
The rich just get richer you say?
I'm not getting stronger
The hours are longer
And there's never an increase in pay

2:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mel, the bottom part of your post is missing. Or else something called you away in the midst of a sentence ,,, oh wait, it's there in the comments under "show original post" ??? Strange. Yeah, rattlers all, only without the usefulness of keeping the rodent population down.

Spado's been busy (loved the two-fer of bitch slapping AND macing bush). Makes me feel lazy for only waking up thinking of ONE:

When Jefferson Airplane sang "Feed Your Head",
George Bush ate a bar of X-Lax instead.
Maybe that would explain
How he got shit for brains
And thinks Iraqi's are better off dead.


9:27 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Blogger is acting very strange...I'm trying to resolve the problem.

6:54 PM  
Blogger meldonna said... problem fixed.

Good going, Spadoman and D.K.! Getting the party started Right!

11:41 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

A special note to 'all y'all' who've contributed -- it makes my day seeing your work; I haven't seen a clunker yet! And I do mean work; it takes some thought and a lot of scrap paper to make a limerick work. Glad I didn't make it haiku!

Thanks, s-man for the Labor Day thoughts. I'm up here in Wobblie country, and glad we do still have the unions, despite all efforts to kill them. It is alarming how few Americans realize the debt we owe the folks who many times literally got their heads busted just trying to get the working folks treated fairly. The powers that be certainly are busy at work trying to destroy worker's protection. I really would like to see a union for temps; there's a sector of workers being taken advantage of, and it hurts perms, too. A system I know only too well.

And good to see you here, D.K. -- my apologies for not realizing I had ya blocked out. Duh (she says, red-faced). I'm curious; do you have a blog yourself? Your comments always get me thinking, so I'm wondering if you have a place where you start the conversation.

2:13 AM  
Blogger dada said...

Wow! I'm sooo impressed here. Also confused. Seems everytime the first Monday in September rolls around this happens. I thought Labor Day was discontinued by Reagan, much like MLK's birthday by Bush in post-Katrina NOLA. Or maybe "they" just keep 'em around 'cause it makes the rest of us feel good, to think they honor the memories of folks who got their heads busted struggling for decent wages, hours and working conditions or those who got themselves assassinated thinking they was "equal".

And speaking of holidays, how much longer will we continue to celebrate the 4th of July? (At least Christmas seems safe.)

But as for my "impressed" reaction: Spadoman's been hard at it. WTG! Good stuff. And Mel, and DK. Love to read you'all's thoughts in meter and rhyme.

And you're right, Mel, this is a lot harder than it looks. That's why, the other day as I was on my walk, anyone passing me noticed me talking to myself and counting syllables per line on my fingers.

5:02 AM  
Blogger BBC said...

Hickory dickory dock
get the dork
off the clock

Okay, back to the booze. :-)

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mel, a DK blog? Nah, that's "work" (anathema to the recent retiree, i say it like maynard g crebs on the old dobie gillis show). I'm always humbled by how you real bloggers can lay it out there. I like to think of myself as standing for all those anonymous readers who don't usually comment, although I also notice a lot of assholes hiding behind anonymity. I've been thinking of becoming an "other" if that helps.

so here's the limerick i woke up with today:

Bush reading Camus has me benched.
The lie has a palpable stench.
If I heard it of Kerry,
I'd not question nor tarry,
Save for "oooh ... in the original french?"

Yikes, for myself, I'm glad you did NOT want Haikus! Must be something wrong with my brain cuz they so often leave me up in the air, thinking what the ... ???

These limericks are tough enough. Sometimes I've got a good first line that goes nowhere, or a couple center pieces that won't quite bridge. The one above was unusal in that I had the final line & worked backwards from that. Usually I've petered out by the last line, defeated by syllables and rhymes. Thanks for providing the challange, mel. Hey, if we can conquer limericks, perhaps there's hope this fall afterall. D.K.

10:46 AM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Amen, DK...

And I have to wonder how long it took Laura to teach him to say "Camus".

Hey! Wasn't Maynard the one who used to say "You rang?" Or do I have him confused with Lurch? ~snicker~

Hey, Dada...I'm dragging your latest over here. I'm going to be starting a list in Word soon, and I don't want anyone to get left out...

There was a young girl name of 'Gert'
Who came back from Iraq mort-ly hurt
As he sank by her side
George Bush rued, then he cried
"Shoulda done what I did - DESERT!"

Yo, got two fifths of a limerick there; if you can come up with the other three lines, we can make it an O-Fish-I-Al entry. In the meantime, have a cold one on me.

Kudos on everybody's efforts. Now if we can just get e4e to submit a verse; you know you wanna, girl! Shameless peer pressure, I know. ;)

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't remember if Maynard ever said, You Rang, but it rings true, daddio! Now Lurch, he DEFINITELY said it (or bassed it from somewhere out of the depths of his large soul), but that was yrs later. I'd like to see all the original Dobie Gillis' with Warren Beatty & Tuesday Weld again. I still catch occasional Addams Family, being a big fan of Morticia and Gomez. Big question of my teenage yrs: does morticia have legs? D.K.

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can Merlin in his cave of crystal glass
Grant Rove's request to purge and harrass,
Changing millions of votes
(mostly those of poor folks),
Thus pulling an Elephant out of an Ass?


11:31 AM  
Blogger BBC said...

God is a union man.

7:03 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Hey guys...I'll be around off and on the rest of the week. A good friend of mine down in the Lone Star State passed on last night, and I may not be online as much as usual for the next few days.

Don't let it keep you from the Contest -- you guys have been great coming up with some gems. I appreciate the laughs, and I got my "family" down in Texas who I'll be sharing with, too. A smile helps us all get through.

Thanks again to everybody.

p.s. bbc, my mom got a kick out of your partial limerick (hicory). We're both waiting to see if you finish it!

love to all.

12:14 AM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

ok found this web site - the task was very daunting at first but google works wonders for the nerves...

so here goes:

there once was a baby named Bush
who dreamed he was king of the world
he woke up at night
with a terrible fright
and found out that it was quite true

3:27 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

sorry - i need to do more googling...i think i made your first

can i try again?

ok here goes

the shite house man from upper crust
we thought was someone to trust
we woke up one night
with a terrible fright
and found out it all was a bust

i found this site:

i'll try again tomorrow!!

3:37 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

az: are these original limericks? I'm pretty much trying to limit entries in the contest to those actually written by the person submitting...I've got people counting syllables in their sleep who will kill me otherwise!


6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mel, i'm so sorry to hear about your friend. these can be such scary, lonely times. please take care.

I MUST have a few more lims in me, but damn if i could feel my way through to them today. ps, i'm ALSO waiting for bbc to finish his, he had a good beginning! D.K.

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok mel, this is on my "to do" list:

If Alberto says it's legal, clap your hands.
He's the leading torture turdle in our land.
And when two more years go by,
Slap a black hood o'er his eyes,
Then rendition him to North Waziristan!

-- D.K.

4:42 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

ok - part is from me and part is from some sites on the net that show you how to rhyme..

my bad as i was only trying to play with you-all

but i guess i'm out of my league...

love your blog and rhymes...

5:58 PM  
Blogger meldonna said...

Let me know which ones you've posted are yours; wouldn't want to dis-include them, az...

:0) *mel

6:24 PM  

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